Thinking for Success: Creating a head space that doesn't get in your way
Reviewing our Labels, Practicing Visualization, and learning to relax
Camp Lecture Day 3
Once we've identified what it actually means to be successful (Day 1), how to build our competency and our confidence (Day 2), now we come to the road blocks of anxiety and fear.
There are times even after we've developed good practice, that we still get in our own way. We become stuck or terrified, we over think or don't think. We need to develop a good head space game.
Take a moment for me and write down a dozen descriptors for yourself. Deep True ones, no one is watching. These would be your #hashtags in your selfie of life. Here are mine, #mom #coach #wife #businessowner #psychologist #angryinnkeeper #strong #strongwilled #peoplemanager #soundsensitive #listener #formerallyanxious
Now how does shape you? How do they make you great? How do they make you weak? How do they limit you? Do they hide hidden insecurities? Does #mom mean you don't #fitness or #idonttalktoadultsanymore? Does #listener mean you don't #takeadvicewellfromothers? Would #redhead be some sort of allowance for #badattitude? I am proud of the labels I have currently. But we MUST see these as fluid additives vs. required ingredients.
Here are the labels I here from adults and kids at Chaos:
1. No Upper Body Strength
2. Too Old
3. I've had kids
4. I'm just not an athlete
5. I'm not a gym person
6. I don't have muscle
7. I can't do what you do
8. When I was in High School I could..
9. When I was young I could...
10. I don't have the time
11. I am not good at this
12. Im more of a gamer/musician/what ever
These might as well be tattoo'd on their souls, in indelible ink. WHY?! Why are we so hell bent on labeling ourselves and defending those labels like they help us? They don't help. They protect. They protect you from failure. And hopefully your kids have learned by now, that is an old way of thinking. Hopefully you all have worked to change that perspective and thrown away restrictive labels.
Tearing off labels is first. Visualization and re-imagining who you can be would be step 2.
The weeks leading up to me competing for American Ninja Warrior were a blur of physical training and visualization. I was terrified of being terrified on stage. HUGE production, cameras every where, pressure, and on yeah, utter fear of falling on the first obstacle. So I practiced visualization. I saw myself walk on stage, heard the producers, heard the count down, saw the lights, the stands, my friends, the water. I brought myself through that course 1000 times before ever setting foot on it. So after being woken up at 4:45am, competing at 5:28am, I found myself with zero nerves. Nothing but preparedness. It was amazing. I would never have expected that outcome, but gave myself no other option but to believe I could do it. In my head, I had done it 1000 times already. My body knew just what to do. Obviously I miscalculated a step and fell. But honestly, I accomplished so much. I had gotten anxiety out of my way. I got self doubt out of my way. I got fear out of my way. If you cannot see your self succeeding, how can any one else?
Learning about yourself, changing how you talk about yourself, and finally seeing yoursel
f as a hero, can change a lot for you. It can help you relax. We can also practice "pre-fight rituals" and other self centering strategies to help us get back to calm. When we change the narrative in our head to describe ourselves as "problem solvers" we learn to trust in our capabilities. We learn we don't need to protect ourselves from failure and that we are capable of making improvements.